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Hi welcome to my blog!!!!!!!!! Welcome you beautiful, gorgeous human being.

       I am Lenora Williams. I am 19 years old; I am turning 20 in August. OMG I cannot believe that I am turning 20!I am a student at University. I am doing a double major in Biochemistry and Biology. I want to have a successful blog. I want to travel the world and help children around the world. I want to give back to world and make it somewhat better. I want to help people in any way I can. I would love to maybe go teach kids around the world. 
    I would love to have my own curly hair product line. I am a curly hair girl. I know the struggle of heat damage and getting over it. I would love to partner up with companies to see what goes on the background and how they come up with the ingredients, the labels, and the shape of the bottle. Now that would be a fun summer job! 
   I want to get a first class honours in my degree. I want to get better grades.I am going a few courses in this month a…
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Broken down!

Never have I ever felt so broken down and lost! Times when you cannot fake the smile, it is like the broken pieces of your heart it expanded and you cannot feel. But when you start to feel, you feel all the feels. Never have I ever felt so much pain, it is like your screaming inside and the noise cannot surface.

I keep repeating its just a bad day, not a bad life. But I just cannot see this pain going away anytime soon. It is like your stone cold! And it is getting colder and it hurts. I need my idiot person who I run to, just so they can tell me everything is going to be amazing and that I am brave. But that person is not my person no more.

I just need to feel like me again, I miss the old me, I do not know where she disappeared. Grr, have the worst exam tomorrow, I really need a miracle for this one.

Good night Sweetdreams, I love you. AlwaysπŸ’“

Pray for me!!

Guys, girls, Everyone under the sun! LOL

My exams starts tomorrow!!!! I am freaking out a little! Because this month is like the worst for me! thinking about the fact that my grandmom died in this month last year! Like it still hurts it just hurts lots more in this month!!

Keep me in your prayers and pray I get A's and B's. Pleases!

Good luck to everyone that has exams like me! Good luck and I know you are going to do marvelous.

Am I crazy? LOL

I know I do not post a lot! Well this is like my vent to place. I guess!! I thing it is because I would never think or believe that anyone would actually read my blog! Like I know I see the stats, but I still do not believe it!! LOL, If you and reading this now I really appreciate it and you taking a few minutes to read it, find me on Instagram.

I have been struggling, with my heart and my brain! I do not think it is first love syndrome!! I think its because I broke all my rules for him! Like I never let anyone into my life besides him! Like I loved him hard! I never did it! If you caught what it is! That never happened! So I know for a fact it was never based on that! It was based on pure love!

I really think it would be hard for me to open my heart and love someone else at this point! Like that guy have to break down so serious walls and truly prove to me that he is in it for the long run. Is it bad that I have not moved on yet! Or is it perfectly normal. Like I know I am not the t…

Time to Move ON!

I was in a relationship, once in my life! I had that moment in time, when we was doing absolute nothing, and I looked at him and I was like yups, I could see myself with him forever. Forever ended a year again.

It been a year and I still have been built the courage to move on, but how do you move on from something you wanted to last a lifetime. But how could you not move on when they also never made the effort to get you back!

Do not get me wrong, I love him and still do, would not I tell him, hell no! I know we could fix it, but I know that would be me fixing it and him not doing anything. I not going to be like, hey idiot we could work it out, all you need to do is have effort! Put in effort.

But then their is apart of me that thinks that it did not work the first time, who says it going to EVER work!!! Like maybe we both have to move on! Or maybe he has already! Or maybe I am waiting to see him move on, so I could.

Then, part of me is scared that when I do move on with someone, th…

Him Again!πŸ˜•

So I deleted him, like from facebook, whats App, Instagram!! Like what the hell. I was ready to leave him in the past! Like screw the fact that I careπŸ˜• for him and I know that would never change! Like something could happen now to him. And I would be there! SMH.

So who would message me, himπŸ˜•. " You have me for the long run" like really, that is what you going to tell me. REALLY! I left it on seen. Like what was I to say! Yea sure!!!! Lets see how far we go pretending to be friends!!! SMH.

So I saw him, I was like, I clearly need to resolve this before I knock him down. You know when their is so much to be said but you do not know how to begin. I was like do I say hi, hello, heyy,, his name,, I hit him with my phone.

So I said, "Do you want to talk or sum!" Like i honestly did not realised I said or some!!! So he agreed but after he finished what he was doing. I was like k kool! Like boy, you little idiot! I made the effort!!! SMH

So some stuff occurred!!! Clearl…

This is part of me, he is part of me!

You ever had a strong crush on someone! Like everything about them made you want to be with them.  I wanted him! I honestly wanted him! But then I thought he had a girlfriend so I was like whatever not going to waste my time crushing over a taken boy! I was like 15 maybe! Or maybe younger not sure! I think 14!

So I crushed on him, and we was in the same class and I never spoke to him for about a year! So within that year I found out the girl I thought he was with was in a relationship with someone else!!!! And spontaneously we became friends! Like really good friends!

Our conversations were timeless. Something about him and the type person he was made me want to know everything about him! Like we were never together, never kissed, but they was a zing between us. Some kind off force that made it feel so natural! Like he called me all those cheese names like baby, babe, babygirl , wifeey! But it felt natural! I remember one valentines we both were single and he was like you are my vale…

It's been a minute!

I have been fighting the urge to write this post! Remember that close guy friend of mines, the one I used to  have feelings for, but never went with because we were better of as friends. Or maybe that is what I made myself believe to stop feeling for him.

So we are official broken apart! A long while now, like since beginning of August! That long. Have you ever met the guy version of yourself! The same stubborn ways! Like you are so a like that you think the same so you always stuck in one spot! That is basically us!

We mask how we actually feel. So I know he thinks I do not care and that i am "unbothered". HE makes me feel to knock him down at times! I really cannot understand why we have been through what we have been through. Like we were never together, but we act like have been. Well now we do! You would swear we are ex's that hate each other. We do not hate each other though!

Have you ever cared about someone so much, that you let them go! I think that is what I d…